Outer Order, Inner Calm Read online

  I found it much easier to clear clutter once I identified:

  an organization that accepts toys

  an organization that accepts books

  an organization that accepts clothes

  a soup kitchen that accepts any unopened packages of food

  a drugstore that safely disposes of unused prescription medications

  a young family who needs children’s furniture

  a child who loves dolls and stuffed animals

  We had a big pile of board games and puzzles that we no longer used. It occurred to me to ask if my daughter’s summer camp would like them. The camp directors were pleased to get these activities for rainy days, and I was gratified to know that these items would be getting such hard use.

  DONATE QUICKLY.

  When we can’t make good use of our possessions, it’s time to get those things into the hands of people who will benefit from them.

  However, giveaways can quickly accumulate and become a source of clutter themselves. Create a system for moving things out of your house before too much time passes; if you don’t, those boxes and bags may take root in their temporary holding spots and stay there for months.

  ASK YOURSELF, “DO I NEED MORE THAN ONE?”

  As you’re clearing clutter, if you discover that you have more than one of an item, ask yourself, “Do I need more than one?”

  While it can be helpful to have more than one phone charger and more than one pair of scissors, you probably don’t need two flour sifters or three pen cups on your desk.

  Weirdly, it’s often easier to keep track of one than of multiples. When I have only one pair of sunglasses, I can always find them. When I have more than one pair, I get careless.

  MEMENTOS SHOULD BE CAREFULLY CURATED AND, IF POSSIBLE, SMALL IN SIZE.

  I’m a big believer in keeping things for sentimental reasons; remembering happy times in the past gives us a big happiness boost in the present. It’s important, though, to think carefully about the things we choose to keep.

  Those sweaters you wore in high school—could you keep one sweater instead of five? Or could you take a photo of them? Your grandfather’s desk—could you keep his pipe instead? The finger paintings your son brought home from preschool—could you frame your favorite masterpiece to hang on the wall and toss the rest?

  The same is true at work. It’s easy for a desk to get crowded with trinkets, mementos, and photos that take up a lot of space without providing much value.

  Curation matters. Usually (perhaps paradoxically) having fewer mementos allows us to hold on to more memories than having many mementos does, because these keepsakes have been carefully chosen and we’re less overwhelmed by the sheer volume.

  Choose a few items that are truly exceptional, and clear out everything else. Find ways to hold on to memories without accumulating mounds of stuff.

  Oh! Old rubbish! Old letters, old clothes, old objects that one does not want to throw away. How well nature has understood that, every year, she must change her leaves, her flowers, her fruit and her vegetables, and make manure out of the mementoes of her year!

  JULES RENARD

  BEWARE OF THE “EASY TO BUY, HARD TO USE” TRAP.

  Some items are very easy and satisfying to buy—but then are hard to use.

  Gadgets, cookbooks, tech solutions, exercise equipment.…They hold great promise, but only if we put them to proper use. And often that takes effort.

  Do I really want to figure out how to set up that sleek new device? Am I really going to have the kind of party where I’d use those linen napkins? Am I really committed to using a treadmill? How often do I write a letter on nice stationery?

  When deciding what to buy, remember that some things are easy to buy—but then we have to use them. If they’re not used, they don’t enhance our lives; they just contribute to guilt and clutter.

  ALLOW TECHNOLOGY TO CLEAR CLUTTER.

  Often we hang on to possessions that have been replaced by technology.

  Do you consult the print manuals for your devices or appliances—or do you just look up the information online?

  Do you maintain a library of books, DVDs, or CDs even though you don’t use them anymore?

  Do you have a fax machine, even though you never send or receive faxes?

  Maybe you still need an alarm clock, calculator, scanner, dictionary, thesaurus, etiquette guide, maps, or copier—but perhaps you use a tech solution instead, so you don’t need to keep those things.

  If you have the current version of an item, don’t keep the outdated version. If you use a new Keurig to make your coffee every day, you don’t need your French press.

  Unless you actually use these items, there’s no need to hang on to them any longer. (Though it does seem like a sacrilege not to own a physical copy of a dictionary.)

  DON’T AIM FOR “MINIMALISM.”

  Outer order isn’t a matter of having less or having more; it’s a matter of wanting what we have.

  For some people, owning a minimal amount of possessions makes them feel freer and happier. That’s absolutely true. But it’s not true for everyone.

  Declaring that we’d all be happier with less (or with more) is like saying that every movie should be 120 minutes long. Every movie has a right length, and people differ in the number of possessions, and the types of possessions, with which they can meaningfully engage. One person is happy with a bare shelf that holds a single vase; another is happy with a shelf lined with books, photographs, and mementos. We must decide what’s right for us.

  Rather than striving for a particular level of possessions—minimal or otherwise—it’s helpful to think about getting rid of what’s superfluous. Even people who prefer to own many possessions enjoy their surroundings more when they’ve purged everything that’s not needed, used, or loved.

  CONSIDER THIS CHECKLIST FOR A CLOTHES CLOSET.

  Take stock of the items in your closet. As you pull out each garment, ask:

  Does it currently fit?

  Do you actually wear it?

  Do you love it, or if not, is it truly useful?

  Even if you love it, is it in such bad shape that you ought to get rid of it? I struggle with this.

  How many interchangeable items do you own? If you have five pairs of khaki pants, you’re not likely to wear your two least favorite pairs.

  Is it uncomfortable?

  Have you worn it five times or fewer? It’s the rare item that’s worth keeping, even if it’s almost never been worn.

  Do you worry that it’s out of fashion? If you think it might be, it probably is.

  Can it only be worn in a limited way? Like a shirt that’s stained so it can only be worn under a sweater, or shoes that almost never work.

  If you’re keeping an item only because it was a gift, does the giver know that you have it? If you don’t need to make a show of using it, you don’t need to keep it.

  Does it work with other clothes that you have, or would you need to buy new items to make use of it?

  Do you keep this item merely to fill a category? If you never wear something, you don’t need it. You don’t need any turtlenecks if you hate to wear turtlenecks.

  Does it fill a need that no longer exists? This can be hard to admit, so press yourself.

  Does it need to be altered before you can wear it? If so, get it altered or get rid of it.

  Do you describe an item of clothing by saying, “I would wear that” or “I have worn that”? These phrases suggest that you don’t actually wear it.

  Does your active closet hold clothes that you’re keeping for sentimental reasons or for wearing to a costume party? If so, store those items elsewhere. And be choosy; only save things that really deserve it.

  Is a beloved item still flattering
but not in top condition? You might “demote” it to more casual use. A sweater can go from a go-out-to-dinner sweater to a hang-around-the-house sweater.

  Life is barren enough surely with all her trappings; let us therefore be cautious how we strip her.

  SAMUEL JOHNSON

  USE A PHOTOGRAPH TO EVALUATE CLUTTER.

  At home or at work, if you’re having trouble getting started, try taking photos of an area and evaluating what you see.

  Somehow, a photograph helps us to see a space with fresh eyes. It changes our perspective and gives us a measure of detachment that can help us decide what items should stay and what need to go.

  If someone argues against the need to clear clutter, try showing that person a photo of the space. The area may feel very comfortable—but the objective eye of the camera may help a person recognize that it needs to be cleared out.

  Then, once you’ve cleared the space, take photos of it so that you can compare before and after images. It’s a big morale booster to see visual proof of what you’ve accomplished.

  BEWARE OF THE “SOMEDAY, SOMEONE” RATIONALE.

  Sometimes we keep an item because we imagine that “someday, someone will want this.”

  Ask yourself: How likely is it that someday, someone will want this item?

  At home, if something has a very specific use, is in poor condition, is dated, is of sentimental value, is bulky, requires a very particular decorative environment, or needs a lot of upkeep, it’s unlikely that it will be used. Someday, someone is likely to throw out that giant aquarium, four-poster bed, damaged bicycle, stuffed animal, or bread-maker from ten years ago.

  At work, if an item is obsolete (a catalog from two seasons ago, a desk calendar from last year, outdated business cards), is broken, or belongs to a person who no longer works there, it’s unlikely that someday, someone will want it.

  PROTECT YOUR PRIME REAL ESTATE.

  When bringing order to our surroundings, it’s important to consider the value of the real estate.

  For instance, a desk is extremely valuable real estate; be very selective about what’s on the surface of a work desk, as well as in any shelves, drawers, or cabinets that are within easy reach. Unless you’re consulting a book every day, don’t leave it on your desk. If you have three boxes of your favorite brand of pen, don’t store them in your top drawer.

  It’s absolutely true that some people find that unexpected juxtapositions spark their creativity, and some people know exactly where to find anything in the pile on their desk. But even for them, work is easier when prime real estate is reserved for the most useful materials.

  MOVE CLUTTER OUT OF CONTEXT.

  When we see objects settled into a particular place over time, it becomes hard to imagine where else they might go.

  So put your clutter into a new context. Pick up items, gather them in a box, and carry the box to a well-ordered room. Once you detach things from their settled places, it’s much easier to decide what to do with them.

  MOST DECISIONS DON’T REQUIRE EXTENSIVE RESEARCH.

  In many situations, we don’t need to make a perfect choice but just a good-enough choice.

  THREE STRIKES AND YOU’RE OUT.

  My father once told me, “People are very reluctant to make a change, so when I started thinking that it might be time to switch jobs, I knew I probably should’ve switched jobs six months ago.”

  Along the same lines, people are reluctant to relinquish their possessions, so if I think that it might be time to discard an item, I probably should’ve done so already—especially if that thought occurs to me more than once.

  Now, if three times the thought has occurred to me, “I wonder if I should get rid of that,” I get rid of it.

  Should I give away that broken tissue box in the shape of old books or keep it?

  Should I shred those old credit card statements or retain them?

  Should I donate those glass vases or hang on to them?

  Three strikes and you’re out.

  ASK YOURSELF, “WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I USED THIS POSSESSION?”

  Some things are worth keeping even if they’re used only rarely: a good set of binoculars, a sled, formal wear, a box of matches, a cookie baking sheet, a can opener, and power adapters for travel.

  But many things are used regularly—or not at all. Either you often use that white-noise generator, bowl for loose change, or electric toothbrush, or you never use it.

  If you’re not using it, get it into the hands of someone who will use it.

  BEWARE OF THE “ENDOWMENT EFFECT.”

  Before you accept something for free or take advantage of a great deal, decide: Do I really need this thing? Do I love it?

  Keep in mind that because of the “endowment effect,” we value things more once we own them. Once that thing enters your home, it will be tough to get it out again. A mug, a hand-me-down toy, the lamp from your mother-in-law—if you don’t need it, don’t take it. If you never possess an item, you don’t have to store it, dust it, find it, or figure out how to give it away.

  When clearing clutter, one way to fight the endowment effect is to ask, “If I didn’t already own this possession, would I buy it?”

  If not, why keep it?

  ABANDON A PROJECT.

  One source of clutter in our homes, and a significant drain on our energy, is the uncomfortable presence of unfinished projects.

  Whenever we see evidence of an unfinished project, we get a jolt of annoyance or guilt: “I should finish that,” “I need to deal with that,” “When am I going to find the time to get that done?”

  These projects take many forms: knitting experiments, gardening plans, half-built Lego castles, binders full of untried recipes, woodworking projects, giant puzzles.

  Unfinished projects are irritating in themselves, and they also contribute to clutter, because we often leave them out in the open, as a reminder to finish them.

  Push yourself to finish an unfinished project or call an end to it. The easiest way to complete a project is to abandon it. Get that stuff off your shelf and off your conscience.

  CONSIDER THE X FACTOR.

  If you can’t decide whether to keep an item of clothing, ask yourself, “If I ran into my ex on the street, would I be happy if I were wearing this?” Often, the answer will give you a good clue.

  BEWARE OF THE “DURATION EFFECT.”

  In my own life, I’ve noticed a phenomenon that’s related to the endowment effect—what I think of as the “duration effect.”

  The longer I own a possession, the more precious it becomes, even if it has never been particularly valued.

  We have an ugly, badly designed pair of scissors, but my husband got them as a high school graduation gift—how can we get rid of the scissors now?

  This phenomenon is strongest with any possession related to my children. My daughters never played with that china tea set, but now that we’ve had it for fifteen years, how can we give it away?

  Because of the duration effect, I try to hurry unwanted things out the door. The longer I keep them, the harder it is to let them go.

  BEWARE OF CONFERENCE SWAG, OFFICE FREEBIES, AND PROMOTIONAL GIVEAWAYS.

  Yes, I went to that conference, and I received a branded mug, a T-shirt, a metal water-bottle, a journal and pen, and an eraser in the shape of a cow. But if I don’t have a clear plan to use these things, they’re clutter.

  The best way to deal with clutter is never to accept these freebies in the first place. Something free can end up costing a lot of time, energy, and space.

  FORECAST THE FUTURE.

  Imagine that it’s far in the future and your relatives have arrived to clean out your house. What items will they want and what items will they give away, toss, or recycle? You can make their job in the future easier by dealing with your possessions now, instead of foisting that job on them.

  ASK YOURSELF, “IS THIS POSSESSI
ON MOVING AROUND?”

  Many things, if well used, move around. Clothes come out of their drawers, go to the laundry, return to their place. Books circulate around the house. Dishes come out of the cabinets, get dirty, get clean. For these kinds of possessions, staying in one place for a long time is a clue that they may be clutter.

  And are there whole rooms, whole closets, entire filing cabinets, or sets of shelves where nothing comes or goes? These areas begin to feel stale and stagnant, and if nothing they hold ever moves around, they should probably be cleared out.

  DON’T GET ORGANIZED.

  When you’re facing a desk covered in papers, or a closet bursting with clothes, or countertops littered with piles of random objects, don’t say to yourself, “I need to get organized.” No!

  Your first instinct should be to get rid of stuff. If you don’t own it, you don’t have to organize it.

  BEWARE OF “STORING” THINGS.

  For some things—holiday decorations, seasonal clothes, vacation gear—storage makes sense. You put these things away, and when you need them, you get them out again.