Outer Order, Inner Calm Read online

  Or if you just can’t bring yourself to adopt someone else’s crazy method, agree to consult the manual together to decide the “best” way to do it.

  MY CLUTTER FEELS DIFFERENT FROM YOUR CLUTTER.

  Have you ever noticed that if you’re making a noise—clicking a pen, drumming your fingers, humming—the noise doesn’t bother you, but when someone else makes that kind of noise, it’s very annoying?

  It’s the same way with stuff. Often, we don’t mind or don’t even see our own clutter, but we’re very bothered by other people’s clutter. A friend told me, “My husband complains about my crumbs on the kitchen counter while he’s created a giant mess in the living room.”

  Keep this phenomenon in mind if someone asks you to clean up an area, even when the disorder doesn’t seem bothersome to you—or if someone seems surprised that you’ve asked him or her to clean up.

  STORE THINGS AT THE STORE.

  Are you the kind of person who tends to buy items with the thought, This will probably come in handy? Do you buy enormous quantities of common items (tinfoil, paper towels, dental floss) with the thought, I might run out of this, so I’d better stock up? If so, remind yourself, If and when I need this, I can buy it. Maybe I’ll never need it, so I’ll store it at the store.

  IF YOU WANT HELP, ASK FOR IT DIRECTLY.

  People respond with more cooperation, and less resentment, to direct suggestions; passive-aggressive comments and loud sighs are more often ignored. Instead of “This place is a mess,” try “Please take your school stuff off the kitchen table.” Instead of “No one ever helps clean up around here,” try “Please unload the dishwasher so we can move the dirty dishes out of the sink.”

  WAVE YOUR MAGIC WAND.

  Imagine that you have a magic wand.

  What would you do with a magic room—an extra room that mysteriously appeared in your house?

  What would you accomplish with a magic task—a task that got completed overnight with no work from you?

  Thinking about what you’d do with magical help can help identify possible changes to make in your life.

  For instance, if magic would give you a yoga room, might you find space for a yoga room in your home right now? If magic would clean out the garage, might you delegate or pay someone to do that task for you? That’s almost as good as magic.

  A true home is the finest ideal of man.

  FRANK LLOYD WRIGHT

  DON’T EXPECT PRAISE OR APPRECIATION.

  If you clear clutter with the expectation that other people will appreciate and praise your efforts, you may end up feeling very frustrated.

  Some people (such as me) find it easier to clear clutter when they tell themselves, “I’m doing it for myself.” Other people find it easier when they tell themselves, “I’m doing this for someone else—for other members of my family, for guests, for strangers.”

  Either way, don’t expect people to react the way you’d like. People aren’t always good at saying “Thank you.” Or even noticing.

  ACCEPT YOURSELF, AND EXPECT MORE FROM YOURSELF.

  Or as writer Flannery O’Connor put it, “Accepting oneself does not preclude an attempt to become better.”

  We can accept ourselves and acknowledge what’s true about our nature and habits—and we can also ask ourselves to try harder, in our approach to clearing clutter, and for everything else.

  4

  Cultivate Helpful Habits

  A small daily task, if it be really daily, will beat the labours of a spasmodic Hercules.

  ANTHONY TROLLOPE

  To clear clutter, we must first make choices and create order. Once we’ve done that, knowing ourselves helps us to recognize what systems and strategies will work for us.

  The next step is to build on that knowledge and that foundation, by establishing helpful habits.

  Easy, quick, regular habits make it possible to manage possessions before they accumulate into clutter. We often underestimate what we can do in short bits of time—if we follow habits that maintain order. It’s far easier to keep up than to catch up, and with the right habits, clutter never accumulates.

  True, it’s tiresome to worry about clutter and the habits that combat it, but once habits are formed, those behaviors happen automatically. Think about clutter now to forget about clutter later.

  Cultivate helpful habits.

  FOLLOW THE “ONE-MINUTE RULE.”

  Do any task that can be finished in less than one minute, without delay. Hang up a coat, read a letter and toss it, put a document in a file, throw away a pen that doesn’t work, put the toothpaste back in the medicine cabinet and close the door.

  Because the tasks are so quick, it isn’t too hard to follow this rule, and it’s amazing how much can get done, in one-minute increments, over the course of a few weeks.

  WALKING FROM ROOM TO ROOM? TAKE ONE THING WITH YOU.

  Whenever you walk from one room to another room, take one thing with you. You don’t have to take this item to its final destination, just move it closer. When you walk out of the kitchen, take your sweater with you. Don’t take it all the way to your closet right now, just move it closer to your closet.

  Little by little, things begin to move into place.

  DON’T PUT THINGS DOWN; PUT THINGS AWAY.

  If you hear yourself saying, “I’ll put this here and deal with it later,” beware!

  OPEN ITEMS CAREFULLY.

  Most items are designed so that if they’re opened as intended, they’re both easier to open and easier to close—but when we’re impatient or inattentive, we may ignore that and yank an item open.

  If you rip open the bag of dog treats, you may not be able to reseal the package. If you rip open the box of Ziploc bags, you may not be able to close the box again easily. If you rip out that toy, you may not be able to store the toy in its original box. On the other hand, if you open the box of tea bags in the way that it’s meant to be opened, it will easily close again.

  Make it a habit to look for the pull tag or the notch in the envelope. A little extra effort and attention make life easier in the long run.

  BEWARE THE URGE TO “PROCRASTICLEAR.”

  Sometimes, I get the very strong urge to clear clutter—not from the true desire for outer order, but from the desire to delay work on some unpleasant task.

  The crowded shelves in my office had never bothered me, but now that it’s time to face a tough assignment, I’m convinced that nothing can possibly get accomplished until I’ve dealt with those shelves.

  It’s true that creating outer order can clear our minds, release energy, and help us prepare to tackle big tasks. But we need to be sure that clutter-clearing doesn’t become an excuse to postpone work on something that’s actually more important.

  One way to identify procrasticlearing is to ask yourself: If I’d finished the dreaded task, would I still feel the need to create that outer order? If not, I’m just procrasticlearing.

  There’s a real difference between helpful preparation and unhelpful procrastination.

  FIND ROOM OF ONE’S OWN.

  Virginia Woolf famously argued that a writer needs “a room of one’s own.” And if you’re like most people, you probably want room of your own, even if you’re not a writer. Do you want some room of your own—and if so, do you have it?

  You might not be able to get an entire room to yourself, but you can probably claim some room—a closet, a desk, a filing cabinet, a corner of the basement, whatever works.

  If you share a space with others, you need an area that belongs just to you, one that’s ordered and maintained under your sole control.

  In that area, you have an expectation of privacy; you can leave out materials related to an ongoing project; you can put things where you want; others can’t rearrange your things; and no one can borrow anything without permission.

  Keep your “room” free from anything that’s not yours. At home, d
on’t allow it to be used as a dump zone for other family members. At work, don’t allow coworkers to use it as a storage area or holding place.

  A little space can make a big difference.

  BE ALERT FOR SIGNS OF CLUTTER-CUMULATION.

  Clutter is insidious; it creeps in gradually and often we don’t notice it until it has formed an intimidating heap.

  Watch out for these signs:

  a closet door that has to be forced to close

  a drawer that won’t slide shut

  things stored in double rows, one behind the other

  items jammed into place at an angle

  lids that won’t close

  piles that persist for more than a few days on the floor, on a counter, or under a table

  an item situated in a place that’s clearly inappropriate (e.g., a printer set up on a living room chair or a baseball glove on an office desk)

  piles that interfere with the normal use of a space (e.g., the dining room table is so crowded with stuff that it can’t be used)

  an item that’s stored out of proper context (e.g., a box of stationery on the top shelf of a clothes closet)

  MAKE A HABIT OF THE TRAVEL TIDY-UP.

  When you’re waiting to board an airplane, train, or bus, take a few minutes to clean out your purse, backpack, or briefcase.

  It’s an easy way to make good use of that transitional time. You don’t have much else to do, you’re usually sitting near a trash can, and if nothing else, it makes your bag less heavy to carry.

  IT’S EASIER TO KEEP UP THAN CATCH UP.

  By establishing helpful habits, we can cope with clutter little by little, as it comes into our surroundings, instead of trying to deal with it in big, heroic catch-up bursts.

  BEWARE THE OFFICE BACKWATER.

  Five pairs of shoes, four sweaters, seven plastic food containers, three gym bags…we bring things into work but neglect to take them home again, so they stagnate, forgotten. This pattern creates clutter at the office and inconvenience at home.

  Each evening, check your workspace for anything that you need to take with you.

  Consider keeping a “belongs elsewhere” box or shelf where such items can be stored until you’re ready to retrieve them on your way out the door.

  FEELING WAKEFUL? TRY CLEARING CLUTTER.

  Sleep experts suggest that when people have trouble sleeping, rather than toss and turn and fret, it’s helpful to get out of bed for some quiet activity.

  When I can’t sleep, I find it helpful to clear some clutter. Nothing too taxing, nothing that takes much thought—but I’ll wander around the apartment and put away anything that’s out of place. I usually find plenty to keep me busy for twenty minutes and then I’m ready to head back to bed. It’s a calming middle-of-the-night activity, and if I wake up exhausted the next day, at least my apartment looks good.

  TO SAVE SPACE, STORE SHOES IN THE YIN-YANG POSITION.

  SHOP SMART.

  For some people, the habit of shopping leads to clutter problems. If so, try adopting these shopping habits:

  Don’t walk into a store unless you’re looking for a specific item.

  Be quick. The longer you stay in a store, the more you spend.

  Don’t take a cart or a basket. You buy less if you have to carry things around in your arms.

  Touching or tasting things triggers the impulse to buy, so pass up the free samples.

  Watch out when you’re near the register, an area packed with tempting impulse purchases.

  Erase your online accounts so you have to make the effort to reenter all your information with every purchase.

  Remember: Nothing’s a bargain if you don’t really need or want it.

  I love a broad margin to my life.

  HENRY DAVID THOREAU

  FIX YOUR DESK TO FOCUS YOUR MIND.

  When we’re juggling tasks at work, it’s easy to get swamped by materials related to multiple unrelated projects.

  It’s tempting to say, “While I’m doing a bit of online research for this project, I might as well look up information for that other project.” But this kind of disjointed work can make us feel overwhelmed and unproductive.

  Instead, decide the priority for the next slot of time, and get out materials related only to that project. Put everything else out of sight and out of mind.

  While you’re at it, clear your computer, too, by closing anything on your screen that isn’t directly relevant to your current project. Put your smartphone out of reach.

  Use your desk to help you focus on a single active project.

  CREATE A WAITING ROOM FOR STUFF.

  We all have items that are waiting to go someplace else: packages to be mailed, books to be returned to the library, a tennis racquet to be restrung.

  Often, we just leave such things out on some table or counter with the thought, Well, I’ll leave these shoes right here on the kitchen counter so that I remember to take them to get fixed. This can go on for months.

  To address this mess, create a “waiting room”—a shelf in a closet, a corner of the garage—where such things can be properly stored as you prepare to deal with them.

  Some people may want to be able to see the items in the waiting room, as a visual cue; others may prefer to have this waiting room hidden behind a door or in a drawer. Either approach works as long as you check that waiting room regularly and remember to deal with the items there.

  CLEAN UP AFTER YOUR PET.

  Make it a habit to put the dog toys away, change the kitty litter, refresh the fish’s water, and deal with anything that looks chewed up, scratched up, or outgrown.

  PROCEED SOLO.

  Sometimes, we feel like we can’t start clearing clutter until everyone sharing our space agrees to participate.

  Don’t wait for other people’s enthusiasm or cooperation. Do what’s within your power solo.

  You’ll get the benefit of clearing your own clutter right away, without feeling frustrated by other people’s attitudes.

  Also, people often get inspired to clean up their own areas when they see other areas getting cleared. Example is more persuasive than admonition.

  DON’T LET YOURSELF FALL INTO “EMPTY.”

  Keep cash in the house. Keep gas in your tank. Keep some extra rolls of toilet paper squirreled away. Keep your phone charged. Keep a sheet of stamps in a drawer.

  You’ll save time and avoid frustration.

  CAST YOUR NET FOR CLUTTER MORE THAN ONCE.

  Whenever you’re finished with a particular instance of clutter-clearing, go back through the area you’ve covered—at least once or twice more.

  There’s something about clearing clutter that loosens our grip on our possessions. The first time you sort through that closet or that file folder, you’ll get rid of a certain number of things. Then, when you go back for a second or third wave of clutter-clearing, you’ll get rid of more.

  As we let go of things, it feels more and more possible—and more and more enticing—to let go of more.

  HAVE ENOUGH HANGERS, AND NO MORE THAN FIVE EXTRA HANGERS, IN EVERY CLOSET.

  SORT THE MAIL REGULARLY.

  Don’t let the mail stack up in some corner. Mail is messy, and important letters can get lost.

  If possible, get rid of junk mail as soon as it arrives. Move the useful mail (a far smaller stack) to some kind of holding area. I have a special drawer where I keep any mail that needs to be processed—bills to be paid, invitations to be answered, school info to add to my file—along with envelopes, stamps, checkbooks, and a return-address stamp. Then, every Sunday night, I watch TV and deal with the mail pile from my special drawer.

  Everything gets dealt with regularly; the mail is safe yet out of sight until I’m ready to tackle it; it’s easy to find anything I’m looking for.

  OBSERVE A “POWER
HOUR.”

  Most of us have a long list of unpleasant chores that aren’t urgent, so we just keep postponing them. Over time, this procrastination drains us.

  To tackle this problem, try scheduling a “power hour.” Make a list of all the tasks you’d like to accomplish, and once a week, for just one hour, steadily work on these chores.

  Little by little, we can get a lot accomplished.

  USE HOOKS INSTEAD OF HANGERS.

  In many situations, it’s much quicker and easier to put something on a hook, and when it’s quicker and easier to keep a habit, we’re far more likely to stick with it. So add hooks if possible.

  MAKE YOUR BED.

  When I ask people what habits make them happier, I’m surprised by how many answer, “Making my bed.” Why does such an ordinary activity strike such a chord?

  Making the bed is a quick and manageable task, yet it makes a room look much nicer.

  Also, the bedroom plays a special part in our home; our bed is a symbol of ourselves. So when the bedroom seems better ordered, we feel better ordered.